Pooja, SEO Consultant

By six fifteen I have awake, dressed, and fed. I have one cup of dark tea with three lumps sugar and a bowl of rice with condensed milk. Hari sleeps until seven, and after that everyone will be swarming like moths so I find some peaceful time for myself.

We live here, nine people. One: my mother and father. Two: uncle Ravi. Three: his mother-in-law. Four: my brothers, Hari (older) and Ashwin (younger). Five: Aarti, my sister, who is four. And Six: Falguni, an old woman who is not our grandmother.

When I move to Riverside, CA, I will have an apartment with two private toilets and six flat screen plasma televisions. I will have an automatic coffee-maker with an alarm set to five-forty-five so I can become awakened by the smell of fresh coffee, and also a Playstation! The apartment will face the beach and I will observe the surfing and American lifeguards from my balcony.

Riverside is the sister city of Hyderabad. Here I share a toilet with Falguni, who has no shame despite her many years and drooping skin. Falguni walks from the bathroom to the bedroom she shares with Ravi’s mother-in-law wearing silk underpanties. Falguni moves her bowels regularly and produces a smell that is at first enticing, like curry or my mother frying onions, and then terrible, terrible.

Ravi is my mother’s second younger brother. His beard is white and he lost his left leg when he was sixteen stealing a rickshaw. His wife was a large woman with moles on her hands but she has died when I was in primary school.

Bruno, listen: I am not telling you all this because of to wasting your time. I know you are proabbly very busy with many other prior emails…. but now I have sent you six prior emails and I know you have opened these because I have hidden a tracking pixel inside each. I am Pooja, SEO Consultant, and I have found your websight after a Google search for “10 Ways to Re-Purpose Coffee Filters”.

Did you see my six prior emails? Bruno?

Last week in Moosapet we had no water supply two days running. I stayed at the office to sleep there because in Madhapur they don’t curtail the water for silly reasons. I have had to convince Anish to let me work very later both evenings and then I hided in the bathroom until everyone has left. It was very unpleasant but I cannot begin to imagine for you how much more unpleasant would be my shared toilet with Falguni after there is no water for two whole days.

The building where I work is called the Cyber Gateway. It looks like the separated legs of a giant metal baby squatting to have a movement of his bowels. My company is called RVInfoService. My supervisor is Anish. His supervisor is Raghavendra, or Ragi, although we are not allowed to called him that. My job is customer service for a large Dutch telecommunications company called Ziggo. For Ziggo I am helping the Dutch restart their cable modems, restart their laptops, restart their browsers. And to clear their cookies.

Bruno, have you spent any time in the Netherlands? Their people are very polite. They do not wish for any more confrontations. But I feel they are only patronizing me when I help them to restart their many devices. I feel, perhaps, they have already restart their laptops and their cable modems, and still they have no internet, and that is why they are calling me.

But Bruno, I am not really an telecommunications customer support passionate expert! My work passion is as SEO Consultant, and I worry how I am WASTING MY TIME WITH THESE DUTCH! That is why I have sent you six prior e-mails. I am contacting you after looking at your websight to make you understand: I will be glad to assist you with offering our services. Very, very glad. Please let me know your interest!

Please, Bruno. Let me know your interest. I have been successful SEO Consultant for many prior customers. I have been working in mornings and evenings and while Anish and Ragi eat lunch and babble about cricket matches. I am passionate for this work and confident I can obtain 100000+ manually built links for you in the future 1 year.

Thanks,

Pooja Sharma

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Note: To unsubscribe from future mails (i.e., ensure that we do not contact you again for this matter), please send a blank mail to email with NO as Subject.

But Bruno, please. Do not unsubscribe.

 

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